I realized today how cherished I am by the men in my life, even those who lack respect for other women. Why is it that a friend who otherwise sleeps with every other girl he speaks with can respect and cherish me in a pure and sisterly way?

This is something I want for you girls. Any man, no matter his background can cherish you for one reason: because it has everything to do with who you are.

I certainly do not have it all figured out but I have realized some things about my friendships, particularly with the male gender. Story time . . .

My best friend from childhood till he was married always respected who I was. Especially during the low points when his behavior was the antithesis of what I believed in he always cherished me as a person and as a friend.  

Being closest to my male cousins they’ve always been the first to encourage me, even when their moral compass pointed in other directions. Even the naughtiest of them clean up their behavior when they’re around me.

I’ll never forget a few years ago hanging out at my cousins’ bachelor pad. They surprised each other by their cleaning efforts that usually does not take place even for their girlfriends. Then, while talking and watching a movie they proceeded not to answer the front door on multiple occasions.

Friends knocked away and I finally asked why they wouldn’t answer. My cousin said, “They won’t speak right or treat you as they should. Plus, we’re all having a great time.” Then another commented on how peaceful it was to hangout and not have to drink in order to have fun.

Being cherished by the men in my life has challenged me to be who I am and not try to act or dress in a way for other people.

Reflecting on this here is what I can tell you:

• Be the person you want to be deep inside. Do you remember who that is? Maybe it has been a long time since you thought about it.


• Carry yourself with poise (look it up if you don’t know what that means).


• Allow your faith to be who you are not just a part of who you are. I find that I am most happy (even when life is most difficult) when I don’t separate my faith from who I am.